Series: All Stars

Director: Robert F. McGowan
Producer: Hal Roach
Photography: Kenneth Peach
Editor: Bert Jordan
Sound: Harry Baker

Stars: Douglas Wakefield, Billy Nelson, Gertrude Astor, Nena Quartaro, Alberta Vaughn, Baby Alice, Richard Cramer, Jack Barty
Company: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
Released: 23 September 1933
Length: 2 reels
Production No.: B-2
Filming dates:
Rating: 3/10

Crook's Tour

A very drunken Stephen Dorigan (RICHARD CRAMER) is completely off his tits and drinking in a London (supposedly) bar. He is served by barman Jack Barty as he enquires after a "duke", but to no avail. Outside in the street, a couple of well-dressed gentlemen (DOUGLAS WAKEFIELD and his stooge BILLY NELSON) enter the bar and order a drink. Upon learning that one of the gentlemen is "The Duke of Wakefield", Dorigan offers the men ten pounds if they will accompany him to meet his wife. The two men agree and the three of them head off to a boat, where they are greeted by Dorigan's seven year-old spoilt brat daughter Lilly (ALICE RAETZ). Dorigan leaves the two men with the girl whilst he wanders off to find his wife.
The girl is a fresh as a daisy and wants to take the opportunity to play some games with the men and entices "The Duke" to play a violin whilst in her cabin. The instrument is actually a tommy gun which fires off several rounds of ammunition around the cabin, penetrating the walls. Next up the theme turns to baseball using a live hand grenade. The girl pitches, Billy swings and The Duke is catching. Three attempts later and the bomb is thrown through a porthole and explodes in the sea, which sends a fish flying (conveniently) back through the same hole and onto The Duke's nose. After relieving Duggie of the fish, Billy is repeatedly splashed in the face as the fish spits water at him. To make matters worse, the child enjoys seeing the commotion she has caused and this proves too much for Duggie who bends the annoying girl over his knee and gives her a (hard-to-view) spanking. The mother storms into the room and smacks Billy one in the mouth (totally deserved too!) Dorigan then returns to the cabin and he too takes a whack over the head for his troubles. Mrs. Dorigan soon changes her tune when her husband tells her that they are in the room with The Duke Of Wakefield.
The Dorigan's older daughter Molly (ALBERTA VAUGHN) is then introduced to the two British gentlemen and she is as nutty as Lilly! Duggie reminds Dorigan about the ten pounds he was promised and Dorigan confirms he will pay up when their boat reaches America. Duggie and Molly get acquainted on the bed (no, not like that!) and she starts to get excited when she thinks Duggie is patting her on the backside before she realises it is the fish that flew in through the window a short time ago. Duggie then suddenly finds himself engaged to Molly when she mistakes his affections for her and she runs off to tell her parents. Across the corridor another woman (NENA QUARTERO) calls Duggie and drags him into her room to seduce him. Poor Duggie does everything he can to resist the woman's advances when her husband walks in and starts making threats. Mrs. Dorigan hears the commotion and knocks the husband out with a whack to his head.
Molly and Duggie are married on the boat (wow that was quick) and the newlyweds are introduced to some of the guests during the reception. Every time a bell rings or a siren sounds the guests duck for cover. All the women want to dance with The Duke until the seductive lady from before gets her way with him. Her angry husband confronts them and starts firing a machine gun at Duggie as all the other guests scatter. The husband chases Duggie around the ship but Duggie makes it back to the safety of his own cabin where he mistakes a bottle of gin for nitroglicerin. Mr. Dorigan arrives at the room to warn Duggie of his error. The angry husband barges in and threatens to shoot Duggie but Dorigan tells him of the dangers and they quickly leave. With every spit Duggie makes it produces a ball of fire and this makes all the guests drop their stash of weapons. At the alter when Duggie is supposed to kiss the bride he momentarily is tempted to kiss the seductive woman until his bride punches him in the face and makes him change his mind!

Favourite bit
When Duggie tests out the weapon on Billy's head.

Copyrighted November 7, 1933.
In the opening sequence of London, the newspaper is dated April 6th and reads "Famous American Sails".
Douglas Wakefield orders a double scotch and soda.
In what is a very uncomfortable scene for me to watch, Billy Nelson spanks the child twelve times.
The Dorigan's cabin is number 337.
In the 2018 film "Stan & Ollie", a poster for this film can be seen on the wall as the actors walk around the set of "Way Out West" early in the film.

My opinion
A whole lot of nothingness. Richard Cramer is just not convincing as the drunken Dorigan, Gertrude Astor is her usual bullish self and Douglas Wakefield is typically British. An awful print for me to work with was better than nothing. But the film just doesn't go anywhere. It's a mess. And seeing a 7 year-old girl getting her arse spanked like that was difficult to watch.

Douglas Wakefield
The Duke of Wakefield
Billy Nelson
Gertrude Astor
Mrs. Dorigan
Nena Quartero
Cheating wife
Alberta Vaughn
Molly Dorigan
Baby Alice Raetz
Lilly Dorigan
Richard Cramer
Stephen Dorigan
Jack Barty
Dick Gilbert
John Doe, wedding guest
Jack Hill
Wedding guest


CREDITS (click image to enlarge)

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Chris Jaunsen (print)
Jorge Finkielman (image enhancing)
Richard Finegan (stills)
Jim Dallape (still)

This page was last updated on: 07 April 2022