Late To Lunch
	1987 Barjon Comedy Endeavours silent short 4-reels

Director/Producer/Editor: John K. Carpenter  Assistant director: Steve Weintraub Second unit assistant director: James Aarons  Make-up and costume design: Donna Fleischer

AVAILABLE ON DVD (click sleeve for Amazon)

A young lady (Donna Fox) is molested by two servants and thrown into a tent in the middle of a desert.  The villain (a Rudolph Valentino-esque John Carpenter) makes his grand entrance and summons the servants to leave.  The sinister-looking Arab grabs the girl in his arms but sneers at her when she rejects him.  He tries to entice her with drink, but she only rolls her eyes in disgust.  As he makes his second, more aggressive attempt to meet her lips with his own he suddenly develops a case of hic-cups.  Suddenly, he grabs the girl, kisses her and in doing so transfers his hic-cups to her. In a strange afterthought, he throws the girl aside, claiming that she bores him.  He sinks back into the corner and sucks on a pipe, when the girl has a change of heart and throws herself at him, calling him her "hero".  He is immediately suspicious, though gladly accepts her repeated kisses! Viola (Fox) awaits patiently at a restaurant for her date, having to observe other couples sharing a kiss or two when the waiter hands her a note.  The suave-looking John Kirby (Carpenter) finally arrives - late - at the restaurant but leaves disappointed when he realises his date has already left.  With the feeling of guilt, the next day he decides to buy her some flowers, along with an excuse.

John puts on his best suit and heads for the florists.  The attractive florist chooses a bouquet for him whilst an elderly woman customer has her pocket book returned to her from a helpful gentleman.  John clearly doesn't have enough money to buy the flowers at 75 cents, but a stroke of luck benefits him when he observes another old lady dropping her bag.  Hoping to return it to her for a tip, he dashes over to assist her and her huge pile of groceries and parcels.  One by one they are dropped onto the sidewalk, spilling a bag of nuts which causes chaos. A passerby ends up on the ground with John as they continue to slip over.  For all his troubles, John's reward amounts to being assaulted with a fish!  However, it isn't all bad as the florist hands John the flowers he wanted to buy when she offers them as a gift for all he had endured with the elderly woman and her assault on him. Armed with the fish-scented flowers, John takes off across a field when he is confronted by a rottweiler.  Tied to a tree, the dog has to put up with being tormented by the stranger, but after the dog breaks free it gives chase and John ends up in a river with a ruined bunch of flowers as a result.

Viola is the centre of another man's desires, one Robespierre Klein, who proposes marriage to her.  She refuses, but her mother insists she reconsiders the offer, given that anyone is better than "that other idiot!"  John arrives at Viola's house and is shown in by the butler.  The mother disapproves, but Viola is secretly overjoyed, though doesn't want to express it in front of him.  A young girl sits down besides John on the sofa and asks if he is as dumb as her mother makes him out to be?  It's clear these two are not going to get along! Viola joins them and waffles on about every example of how John has let her down, though John has his own problems with the girl.  The decrepit butler tries to serve the guest but is turned away.  The mother makes her feelings known when she takes the girl's dolly and tries to strangle it in front of John.  Outside, Viola plays hard-to-get with John, though is a little more forgiving of his faults and allows him a kiss.  When she spots Robespierre spying on them, she abruptly gets up, dumping John into a pond.  She confronts Robespierre and orders him to leave before booting him up the arse and sending him on his way. Viola finds John and offers to meet up with him for lunch, but warns him not to be late or else their engagement is off.

The story takes a strange twist here as Viola turns into Esmerelda and is pursued by the can't-take-a-hint suitor.  John, dressed like Robin Hood, challenges the now-dressed-as Scarlet Pimpernell nuisance to a duel.  Resorting to some underhand foot-stomping, John seemingly gets the upper hand with his arrogance in knocking fruit from a tree and then getting a manicure whilst in the middle of the fight and then blows his opponent into a pond.  Viola wins her man. The next day, John, dressed like he is about to go and play golf, goes to meet Viola at the pre-arranged luncheon.  Unfortunately he is spotted leaving the house by a policeman who wants to speak to him over the incident with the old lady.  The cop gives chase.  John has the good fortune to find a pie on an open window ledge and quickly scoops a piece of the cream up in his hands.  The cop does likewise and is confronted by its owner, who makes him wear it on his face! Still fleeing from the cop, John stumbles upon a mugging in process and takes the attackers knife, using it as a shaving razor as he applies the pie to his face.  John soon bumps into the old lady again and it isn't long before she is reminding him of her strength!  John makes it to the restaurant but Viola isn't there.  He is given a letter which tells him Viola is not permitted to see him ever again, thanks to her mother.  However, John saves the day when he confronts Viola's nuisance suitor and lays him out with one punch, then drags Viola off to the church to be married....

Favourite bit What at first appears to be an obscene suggestion, it is quickly revealed that we all have dirty minds as Carpenter throws off the bedsheets to reveal it is in fact his flexible leg that is causing the bulge in the blankets!

Facts •Filmed in New York in 1987, the film was released on DVD in 2009 by Alpha Home Entertainment. •The director deliberately scratched the negative of the film to give it a desired "battered" look in order to make it look authentic for a silent picture from the 1920s. •The film is dedicated to the memory of Richard Hommel and Charley Chase. •Director John Carpenter was 25 years old when he made the film. •There are 28 intertitle cards in the film.  They are all listed below. Did you notice? •The first intertitle card reads, "A lonely tent, upon the scorching sands of Arabia". •In the opening scene, the leading lady is clearly wearing lipstick, as it is reflected in by the lighting on the set. •Main star Carpenter makes good use of his eyebrows in order to express emotion. •One of the best gags in the film is when the lady appears upside down and the shot is succeeded by an intertitle car which is shown upside down, to give the correct perspective.  Very original! •When the girl pounces on John in the tent at the beginning, he squints his eye with satisfaction.  This is a reference to silent screen comedian James Finlayson. •Donna Fox's character is named Viola.  This is a reference to actress Viola Richard. •John Carpenter's entrance at the restaurant is very Oliver Hardy-like. •John keeps his alarm clock on the window ledge. •A continuity error: After John repeatedly falls on the sidewalk, his white trousers are clearly stained, but in the subsequent shots his trousers are clean again. •It's a little hard to believe that a man could outrun a rottweiler dog! •At the house, John shakes Viola's hand with his left hand.  He later punches his rival with his left hand as well. •When Viola kicks Robespierre, she lifts up her skirt and shows a generous amount of leg! •Viola finds John soaking wet and holds her hands out to suggest it had been raining?  Surely she must have realised she had just dumped him in a pond just moments before? •John's house number is 242135. •The elderly lady practically beats the crap out of John and then later has the audacity to press charges against him (according to the policeman)? •The guy being mugged in the alleyway is dressed up like Harold Lloyd - another nod to a silent screen star. •The location where John bumps into the old lady for the second time is an Italian food restaurant.  Due to the nature of the print, it is hard to read exactly what it says. •The cop pauses and scratches his head whilst in pursuit of John.  This is a reference to Edgar Kennedy, who often played a policeman in his films. •The title of the film is seen in part of the hand-written letter Viola writes to John. •The note seen at the end of the film which is signed by Viola was actually written by John Carpenter.  I sussed this because I have a sample of his handwriting and simply compared it to the note seen in the film.  John has confirmed he wrote the note seen on screen in the film.

	John Carpenter John Kirby
	Donna Fox Viola
	Michael Schwendamen Robespierre Klein

THE SUPPORTING PLAYERS

Acknowledgements: Alpha Home Entertainment This page was last updated on: 01 January 2015